Say Less & Hurt Less...

This has somehow linger in my mind for a couple of weeks now...
Ever since the fire-incident in my office, there are clearer pictures of what people are like and what people are not... and to a point of my life, I was awaken to think and judge my-self...

Immature:
Over a casual Friday afternoon lunch, I was a little late to the dining-corner so probably the usual crowd had their lunch already. Still left 2 men colleagues and without much hesitation, I joined them but keeping silent listening to their conversation while enjoying my fried-rice. When I'm almost done with my lunch, the conversation started about me... or rather, questions thrown at me...

Y : Can you belief that she is XX? Don't look-like, right? Got the young-look. (pointing finger at me)
H : You're kidding!! No lar... she is very young only...
Y : No, serious, she is born in the year XXXX.
F : How did you know? (very much astound because it was true)
Y : I know. (with the most devilish smile one can imagine)
H : No lar... she is young, don't make her sounds like she is old... So, what makes you decide to buy the Camry? It's like an old man's car...
F : Yeah... its my dad's car... (only my close friends & people who read this blog would know that it's my car because it's not really a big-a-deal to go tell people that its mine; nobody would belief either.)
H : Oh... I thought you bought the car... Just can't imagine you would wanna choose that car as your own purchase.
F : Yeah... won't...
Y : U still don't believe me that she is older than her look?
H : Cannot be... because she don't portray herself of that age and the way she talk, its childish & give me the feeling that she is immature.
F : Immature? Can you elaborate on that?
H : Well, I thought that since you're exposed to 3 years of experienced and culture oversea, you would be speaking more professionally.
F : Excuse me, what does being away overseas has to do with my way of talking? Just because you're in China for 7 years and you think you came back with "professionalism"? And not forgetting a China-lady as a wife...
H : Yeah... being oversea give people advantages...
F : Hahaha... advantages?! But, you got to remember, I went to a 3rd world country not a advanced-developed country like you. There is a huge different... I go to learn how poverty is, I go there to see how people are in hunger and all that kind of stuff in a more natural environment whereby at the same time, I go there to really feel what life is really is... not to go chase a dream to couquer the world. Not to be the future-president of some organisation.
Y : Well, PNG is really laid-back? Like South-Africa?
F : Not sure but I think so...
H : See what I meant about you not being immature... talking while leaning your chin on your hand.
F : But, it's lunch time... why can't I do this? After half a day of work, can't do this while chatting? Not like I'm at some fine-dining restaurant...

The conversation ended when I decided to leave, not because I was frustrated but because no point I continue. H; is an International Marketing Manager cum Operation Manager of my company. He first took up the role as an Int. Mktg Mgr marketing electrical appliances and when I first joined, he has an assistant but after 2 months, he left. He was just sitting near my department. And always ordered fruits for lunch and then, took our department "goodies-corner" to his own advantage. When we requested him to contribute some goodies, he refused and even before I joined, others requested him to buy some things from Korea on his business trip, he didn't. And I was the one and only that was brave enough to give him comments of his eating habits and not contributing to the "goodies-corner". When he was requested to moved his work-place, he still came back to our "goodies-corner" whenever he smell the good food. And when I continue to make remarks out of his behaviour, he eventually stopped coming because he is taking food from his new place. So, I wondered... is this the reason that now, he is telling me that I'm immature? Is this his way of getting back at me in front of others?

Laughter:
One day, when I was on the phone with my partner-company's co-colleague, I didn't tell her who I was and at a point of time, she couldn't recognised my voice because we had not call each other for about 2 weeks since I was very busy with all the moving & cleaning. Then, I laughed when she couldn't guessed... immediately she chuckled and said, "Faith... how can I forget that laughter of yours!!" and I she told me I had one unique laugh that she can easily recognise me even without seeing me. So, who won't smile from eye-to-eye being said that, right?

Few days ago, we were moving some heavy cabinets, one of my colleague showed a very hilarious face expression and I couldn't help to laugh out loud. And my Mktg Mgr exclaimed, "Aiyoh... what a laughter!! Girl cannot laugh like that..." and I was so embarrassed and I keep quiet. And then, yesterday... the same colleague make a remark that again, I was amused and I laugh a little. And he copied the laughter sound and teased me fakely. I was speechless and proceed to do what I was doing.

Sarcastic:
Lately, I felt that I could be very sarcastic when I asked something. A few times, I only realised when it was too late. And I had been becoming a real chatter-box also... Sigh... Is it the freedom to express one's self is making me behaving like this? Or is it because that I've been thru a few things in my life that I was hurt and from not wanting to be hurt again, I taking a step ahead of everything first?

Seriously, I had always open-up to people and allowing people to critic about me and telling me my weak-points or weak-attitude, hoping that I could change and be a better person in life. But ever since I see people, I learn the true identity of a few people during situations that I felt that, I'm turning to be worst... and I fear that one day, I'm gonna lost my friends. Just a recent birthday party, some of my buddies are pretty upset with the birthday girl that they decided not allow her to come along to the trip that we are all planning together. And I couldn't help feeling a little sad that how if one day, I'm gonna be like that poor-girl being put aside from some things from my friends, which that's why I decided that I should really just keep my mouth shut these days. Say less and hurt less...

And to top up this feelings of mine right now... its not any better when some colleagues at office are actually criticising me like that... or laughing at me... IS it for a good-cause? Am I the one immature or they are? Why being a human has to live to the standards of others? If it's for a better cause, it's not harmful but why everyone has to be only one standard?

Miracle of Caffeine

My brain-clock alarmed me kinda early, probably knowing that my "last-minute-requested" report was not complete. Eventhough, I brought it back home to work on it till 10plus and even after I had stayed back at office till 7plus yesterday. Feeling sleepy and tired, I dragged myself up from the bed and did the usual morning routine and today, I needed that help from "Coffee". If not, I probably dozed off while driving. Yes! I gulped down 1 mug in a rush to hit the road at 6.50am.

Just as I opened my wooden door to leave my house, I felt a strong wind blowing right at me! Wow!! I simply love this... I had not feel this wind for a long time... not since I moved back to Malaysia other than at the beach. You hardly get "wind" anymore these days in the city or town. Seems like its gonna rain and its a bit hazy too...

And this is the DAY, I wished I'm driving an open-top convertible!! So so nicey-weather... Savouring the cool breeze, I had my windows open to about 1cm each because driving thru a highway in Malaysia with the speed of 90-100km/hr is not very "quiet"... and not forgetting, a little pollution on the way here and there...

Indeed, I was imagining myself in a Coupe and then, I was not very gentle-driver this morning. Hahahaha... *chuckled* But, I still watch my manners. With a right-signal, I cut-queue into the right lane where one Honda honked me when I squeezed my way into his lane just by 1.5 feet. That was CLOSE!! I had never driven my car like that before, I think the "Coffee" somehow make me so aggressive this morning. Think, he was cursing at me the whole way thru because we were in a one lane road that he can't overtake me nor do much but I was so right that he was boiling in anger and wanting a revenge! Guess what he did?

He revenged alright... Once we hit a 3-lane highway, I signalled to my left to the slower lane for him to speed off since he was behind me. He didn't and instead, without signal, he swerved his car to the left just 1 feet from mine suddenly. Lucky, I was alert enough and I was not in top speed as I was driving slowly... Hahahaha... I knew he wanted the revenge... could sensed it. And, he just drive slowly in front of me at like 60km/hr at a 90km/hr highway... I knew he is up to something, so I signalled right and guess what he did again??

He swerved his car to the right, wanting to block my way without any signal... Wah!! Wanna play with me meh?? Not that easy lar... Checking my rear-mirror, no cars on left that is close enough (but plenty in front), I took a sharp all the way left turn... and I cut-into the right in front of him and slow-down and then, signalled right again to the fast-lane and zoommm.... I go off...

Come on, I'm driving a Camry and supposely an imaginative Coupe... where can compete with me?! And don't even dare a lady like me lar... YES, I admitted that it was my fault that I started it but then, if you're forgiving... don't play this kind of game on the road. I mean, I'm always a gentle-driver on the road and even everyday, I get other drivers to do that at me but I don't go revenge on them... But, I was amazed at myself today also... why am I behaving this way?

Okie, I need to get back to my dateline

Kristen's Masterpiece

Hereby presenting my niece's masterpiece...

I'm supposed to interpret what does her art means...
But... I honestly have not a slightest idea...
Only 4 plus of age, she had a very imaginative mind...

Think, think, think...

More Than Words...

Today, I worked late till 8pm and this is my latest-record of lateness in my current company. I don't want to work until the daylight gone because I think I have the "chicken eye-sight" that I'm a bit scared to drive at night alone. But today, just had no better choice but to catch up on my last month sales invoicing as the sales increased by two-folds, with all the after-fire incident, things are just pretty backdated. *sob*

As I was just saying good-bye to my Account colleagues, then, I passed by a new GM for the new sub-company. I only knew him a couple of weeks and we exchange very short conversation if we meet, he has since called me "timber-girl" since the day I was introduced to him and when he knew about my previous company's industry. So, as I was saying good-bye to him too on my way out, he looked up and gesture a smile and said, "Drive carefully".

*WoW* I may be a bit nut-case to make-a-big-deal, but I simply find it very meaningful and while I was driving home, I remembered his words. No one had told me this phrase for quite a long time and somehow, I'm touched and knowing people care...

Anyone had said something and it meant more than the words itself to you?

~ Counting-Down With Baking ~

Tonight, while everyone probably counting-down somewhere with their love ones...
I'm counting-down at home with my parents baking "tapioca kueh".
Was supposed to bake it tomorrow,

but was very excited and wanted to get it done by tonight.
And if its good, I'm gonna do another one tomorrow as the raw tapioca are still available.
To those of you who don't bake or cook, this is kinda simple...
Preparation for this "kueh" was the easiest I come across.

What got me into this "kueh" mood was when I visit Malacca recently.
And I was going around looking for Nyonya Kueh but I didn't find any.
So, still craving for the original Nyonya Kueh around...
Suddenly, one weekend,

when I spend some quality time with my retired aunty and her cookbooks.
And I came across her Penang Nyonya Cookbook.
I borrowed it after flipping thru,

and found the many Nyonya Kueh that I have long to make it myself...

Several things I discovered when I was preparing for the ingredients:-

- Indian religous don't allow them to cut banana leaf after 9pm.

-3 kgs of unpeeled & ungrated tapioca may turn out to be only 800g of peeled & grated tapioca.

-There is difference between coconut milk and coconut cream in the supermarket.

- Brown sugar is less sweetening compare to white sugar.

- Microwave conventional oven is not as good and aromatic as tradisional classic oven.

And "ta-da"... I present my masterpiece...

Thought I share with you the recipe...
650g. tapioca, peeled & grated
200ml. thick coconut milk
1 egg
1 tablespoon tapioca flour
1 tablespoon butter
6 tablespoon sugar
1 pinch of salt
1 banana leaf for lining tray
1 tablespoon extra butter for brushing tray

Step 1: Grease a square tray with butter & line with banana leaf.
Step 2: Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl & blend together & pour into tray.
Step 3: Bake in a preheated oven at 180'C for 30-40 minutes until cake is set.
Step 4: Turn up heat to grill kueh at 250'C for 5-10 mins/until the crust is browned.
Step 5: Remove from oven & leave to cool for at least 6 hrs before cutting-squares.

55 minutes...

This morning, I had to scrub & brush 2 buckets of socks; black and white colour each. Including my brother's and my dad's socks inside. Having blisters on my fingers and palms from the office cleaning, rinsing & squeezing rags, I really thinking 5 times on putting my hands into that 2 buckets...

Home alone, I decided to dump in the 2 buckets of socks into the washing machine. Mom treat it like her 2nd husband since the kitchen and the laundry corner are her "palace". Its my first time, washing something with it since it was newly bought few months ago and also its my first time touching the washing machine at home. The last time, I touched a washing-machine was in PNG where I did all my laundry myself. But, at home, mom do not allow us to touch her "precious gem"...

So, I was starring thru the glass door of the washing machine for 55 minutes and I decided to come online when it starts its "softener treatment". Was a little worried in the beginning because lots of suds foaming, from 1/4 of the tub to full tub. Remembering that my colleagues were telling stories about the "right washing powder to purchase", I recalled them saying, top-load and front-load has different washing powder. Then, only I know such a knowledge... So, I was really worried just now when I was starring at it and praying that the suds do not come out thru the door...

Think if my mom would to know what I did this morning, she probably start yelling and nagging me if I would to proudly tell her what I did... "Waste water and electricity for 8 pairs of socks!!" So, I'm not going to tell her... Sssshhhh... Think the clean socks are ready to remove and hang them to dry now... what a Saturday to spend starring thru the glass door of a washing machine, heh?

Some pictures taken this morning before I start and resume to my cleaning... Its very dark and these pictures only taken with flash but no other lightings... Click on the picture if you need a closer and better view...

Still under investigation...

The power-box that was burned. Part of the door is also burned...

The file cabinet, seems clean but...

The heat-pressure leave some really nice pattern thru each files.

So black.... uurrggghhh... yyyuuucckkk....

A tray full of papers that my GM just passed to me to do filing for him the day before the fire. The slightly whiter paper has been wiped by me earlier & another stack still in its after-fire effect. Piece by piece I had to wipe it... my fingers also got blister now... *sob sob*

Even the spidey lost its home during the fire, its usual white-web turn into soot... Its my company's masterpiece because this attract the most viewer and everyone just so amazed...

Soot, Ash & ...

What a day & week? I have not touched the keyboard the whole day... and the feeling of blogging somehow overwhelm me now...

Hhhmm... I was feeling a bit dressy this morning, so I wore my brand new pants and a flowery-print blouse; which I don't usually do. I woke up early this morning because I had an early night the night before. So, took a slow drive to work and when I reached office, the main entrance was wide open and everything looked gloomy. What happened?? Then, I was told that the office was on fire last night at 9pm. The surau was on fire and the power supply for the 1st floor is there and the server room for the whole company is just next to it.

What puzzled me was, why the whole 1st floor full of soot from ceiling to floor-carpet; even the drawers that are inside are affected?? When you touched it, its a little oily and of course black!! Yuck!! My brain just freezed at 8am when I saw the condition of my work-station. I had just moved into that cubicle last Tuesday and yes, I had just clean and arranged 2 days ago!! My body and muscles are still swollen from the cleaning and moving. Oohhh... I can't see further so I went to the next block where everything still in perfect good condition... I was wailing... to my Account colleagues... Then, I was asking myself, "How am I going to clean my work-station with my new pants?!?!" and then, I phoned Jaime and told her what happened in a brief. Since, she left her house, I don't really want to disturb her parents by changing or getting rags from there. So, I called my mom and told her what happened and asked her to get my brother to drop by my office on his way to college. Ahhh... just cannot belief this... I had to like-wipe the table 4-5 times in order to get it back to the normal situation. And the worst part is, the ceiling & lights are still covered with soot. So, no matter how clean I wipe now... its gonna go down the drain again... Therefore, I didn't work at all today... as in documentations... but cleaning instead... I told my colleagues that I don't even clean these much at home... and the big boss don't even allow us to go back and asked us to clean our own work-station. So unfair and selfish to hire more cleaners... Only got 3 additional cleaners to clean 2 floors and they probably drop-dead tonight. I know I'm now... I just took a long shower to really wash the blackness away... even got into my ear... and my lungs for sure... After all this, probably I need to get a good massage and a body-scrub.

Gosh... I have no more energy to type... I won't be able to touch the computer at office for quite a while because the investigator refused to allow us to fix the power supply box. Sad but true, will be away from the real-world for a while...

Last nite, went to cinema to watch Garfield 2.

I watched Garfield Movie couple of years ago.

And I had watched it more than 3 times since it came out.

So, how could I miss Garfield 2, right?

Was surfing the net,

And discovered that Garfield 2 first came out in Brazil in June 2006.

The movie was *AWESOME*.

I laughed a lot and I personally think Garfield 2 is much better...

than Garfield 1... less romance scenario...

more on the vain and mischievous cat...

Though I personally dislike cats but nobody can resist this orange fat cat!

Jeff said I went to watch Odie...

'Coz I'm still waiting for my doggie...Hehehe...

Odie may acted a bit silly for chasing its own tail...

But, he was the one with lots of senses and a quiet smartness...

Those of you have not watch, go watch... just for a laugh...

Once a Chapter of my life... (Part 2)

Events in Year 2004
A year that lots happened... met a lot of people... life is always full of activities (functions & events) and excitement... been a year full of lots of smiles...

Kiing & I in the office; picture taken with a Nokia.


Sharon & I during lunch break, picture taken with a Nokia.

Valentine's Day, I have a date with Alvin at Asian Aroma. Last year, I got two roses & little bears send to my office from Alvin and Moses. Which by this year, they are dried flowers standing in their plastic-tube in the office. Of course, now I would very much love to bring back with me but only the bears survive in my luggage. Alright, back to dinner at Asian Aroma ~ we ordered a set-dinner that cost Kina 99 for two. *chuckled* Everything presented were in heart shapes... sure something on the plate will be... This is my first time having a dinner out for Valentine's in my life, so I have so many gasps and oohhh... when I see the food presentation... Pictures will tell you everything. After our "heart-shape" dinner, we adjoined the rest at Ichizen where we hang out until the place closed.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

In March, I started driving in Port Moresby after secretly got a License and I have been driving alone to town for job-purposes and once, 2 policemen came into my car too. Wanted to bribe for money because my car got scratched by someone else when parking in the town. It was just a mild-scratch but the 2 policemen make it until its such a big deal... at first, didn't know what they wanted because they just automatically get into the car uninvited. They direct me to a kinda quiet street and slowly it sinked into my brains what they want. Lucky, I was acting stupid and told them I have no cash with me by showing them my wallet. So, I told them to get out of the car when I reached the busy-town again and left them the company number to call if they wanted to be "helpful". Hehehe... Alvin & I love to travel around the hilly-side of the town and occassionally we stumble over beautiful things and scenaries. Here are some of them... And a dinner-gathering at Seoul House. Click on the pictures to get a better view...

For Easter break, we booked ourselves to the private island named Loloata. It was simply rest & relax & close to nature. Only cost us about Kina500 for 4 days 3 nights including meals & boat transfers, usually people don't come to this island for so many days but Sharon, Alvin & myself think that we need the extras. Hehehe... and we were not disapointed at all with the warm & friendly treatment. We are treated with a first-class service and on my last day, I was craving for coconut-water and one of the staff personally climb the coconut tree to pluck 2 coconuts for us. My most memoriable moment and an island I would want to go back again... (Photo Album: Loloata) (More about :Loloata Island)

One fine weekend in April, we got up very early to go Pacific Adventist University (PAU), its about 30-45 minutes drive and we came here to buy fresh local vegetables and fruits. Because the students here grow them as their projects, we get them at a very cheap price. After our purchase, we go round this huge University and have a picnic. Then, we stopped by at the memorial place where those heroic Australians were buried near the start of the Kokoda Trail. I'm not very sure what this place called because I was kinda blur in the morning... so, towards the noon... my brains malfunction... (Photo Album: PAU)

A dinner gathering at Ichizen and follow by cocktails and still the night is young, we went to Crowne Plaza Hotel for coffee...

This year my birthday, its a double-celebration. My housemates had one for me and of course my buddies brought me out for a fine-dining dinner at Cellar at Shady Rest Hotel. At Unit 6, Kiing & Esther organised a short-cake-blowing & cutting ceremony for me with all the little kids surround me to help me to blow the candle. I asked them not to prepare any food for me since I'll be out with the others. They bought me a delicious fruity-cake. Second section with Alvin, Sharon, Elcid & Raymond... we hang out together so how can they not celebrate for me, right? Hehehe... Cellar is a very cosy fine-dining restaurant, where its dim-light set the romantic and serenade mood to every functions. It has few hundreds of empty wine bottles lining side by side each other on the top of a shelf slightly below the ceiling. That decor attracted me and second is the wine/beer barrels that both Raymond & Sharon wrote on to mark my Birthday. After dinner, we adjoined to the Tapas Bar within a few steps... we didn't hang out here, just dropped by to check it out. Its electric-blue neon light has a special effect but no one was there. Probably still too early and on a weekday. That's how I celebrated my 25th birthday... a quarter century of my life... (Photo Album: Birthday)

In May also, we visited the Botanical Garden because Raymond is kinda the newest in town compare to all of us so, we bring him around... its a fauna and floral place. Its situated like 15 minutes drive from our residential and entrance is about Kina 3. Some local nationals will take their vows here. Weather was just beautiful when we got there and it was my second visit. (Photo Album: Botanical Garden)

Sometime in July, I surprised everyone with my latest hair-cut, I "chopped" off my long mane. Hehehe... Never had I cut my hair as short as this before and everyone were wondering what happened to me, "Is it heart-broken?""What happened?" ~ all the shocking looked... Nah, just wanted to keep in short and easy to manage with my current fast & furious activities, I don't have time to take care of the hair. And it makes showering so much more pleasant. Ohh.. la la.. Some of them still think that I looked better in long-hair and some of them took a while to diggest in their mind that I have short-hair. You all judge and let me know...

Well, other than this rather "shocking-hair-makeover"... Alvin, Sharon & I treated ourselves one night at the most finest-dining restaurant in Port Moresby, and of course, its very expensive too. But the ambience is very magical... and one pianist will continuously serenade us with slow and romantic songs... and the most amazing thing is, he can play without song book for the whole night... and even if we request a song, he gave us the most charming smile and he played it. Where can you find this kind of thing these days... he is so talented. So, PNG do have talented people... I hope he is paid well for that... The only thing I could comment is, they should have a grand-baby-piano to perfect the whole interior. I wrote that on their Suggection card and if I'm not wrong, they probably got a baby-grand-piano by now... not sure...

In August, its my roommate's birthday, I make her their all-time-favourite cheesecake. Don't be too surprised with the ugly presentation but its *yummie*, right to those that had eaten? Of course, we have other food as well prepared by Kiing & Jenny. We had nice time... both preparing the food and eating them later... Pictures time with the whole "family of Unit 6"... "my second home"... except Olive is not around...

In September, flew to Brisbane & Gold Coast with Kiing, Voon, Samson and Esther. Pictures are in my Gallery. Had an awesome time and I love the weather... it was Spring ... that makes me wanna stay there longer. But of course, its a vacation... Some bad-luck befallen me during this trip, I sprained by ankle on the 2nd day at MovieWorld and thus on 3rd day at Seaworld, they rented me a wheelchair... oohh... so embarrassing... Lucky, it was nothing serious... recovered and jump-about after I returned to Port Moresby...

Events in Year 2005

A year of lots of decision-making as my employment contract expired, of course my boss would want me to continue and so are some others... but family members and friends in Malaysia wants me to return. Therefore, lots of tears as well and that is why, I choose not to blog about it and simply want to forget this year ever happened... Nevertheless, my dad touched me with the most comforting words at times like this and Jaime's continuous support, I over-come the biggest depression in my life slowly...

The Chapters ends here......
Eventhough, I didn't managed to post everything and everywhere that I go while I was in Port Moresby, but these are the few that had somehow leave strong memories... If those of you who are interested to know more about Papua New Guinea; the land of unexpected... here are two informative website that I wished I could have stumbled over it earlier when I was there... (About PNG; Places in PNG)

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~: Special Thanks :~

Alvin ~ photographing is his 2nd passion. 90% pictures are taken by him.

Kiing & Esther ~ my 2 big sisters who take good care of me all the time.

Olive ~ taught me well in my career path.

Others who I didn't specially write your name,

You plant a seed in my heart as well.

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