Last night, I'm off to bed after 11.30pm after failing to watch the Korean drama that I wanted to. As a result of this, I can't really wake up at 6.30am today. I didn't wait for the bus too long but I think I didn't get the 100% free MRT ride that I usually do. I was still half-asleep and not noticing the amount on my EzLink.
When I reached the office, the tea-lady actually raised her voice from the other end of the floor to me and commented that the box of cake that I left in the fridge has been days. I replied that it's not mine but it's "everyones" and I'm not sure if she heard me but when the cleaner is in the pantry, she grumbled again about the things in the fridge to the cleaner. Urrgghhh... what an awful Friday morning to be greeted this way in the office. What a bitch?!
Since SH will be away for his vacation for 2 weeks, the usual Monday meeting was brought forward to today. The usual and again for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, the concern of RF being 'burnt-out' was brought and my hormones-instability has put me into a very 'sensitive' situation that I was really pissed when SH mentioned that he was not happy that I give myself a 'quarantine' period which I do not want to "handle sales". Come on, this was not even discussed as my job description during my interview with Chris and then, no one even bother to update me about the title in the company website on 17th June.
Where is the fairness? When SH pushed for an answer that I think if I do open my mouth, I think I might get all out before I could control myself. Writing into a piece of paper and showed to RF as a way for me to "express my anger" has lead to a greater anger for SH and he in returned shouted at me and demanded to see the paper and claimed this being disrespectful for his culture. He left the room angrily despite GC & RF called after him. Seconds after, I followed with anger too. When I reached my desk, I was actually shaking all over without a reason I can understand while I called up JZ to enquire about freight situation just to calm myself down. Minutes later, RF & GC came back and I was too "emotional" to be around, I left for the 'cubicle-comfort' and cried my heart out for 30minutes while texting RF and JZ. I knew that RF cannot help me and I do not wish to tell him how I feel... or see me in tears...
GC and RF kept trying to attempt to talk to me especially GC who I couldn't be bothered to even listen to whatever she got to say despite my attendance was there in the meeting-room but my soul was not... She probably think that she is helpful and trying to 'work out' something but, she simply can't get thru to me...
Told RF that I wanted to have my lunch alone after he offered for the 3rd or maybe 4th time with GC informing me that SH would like to speak to me after lunch. With this situation, I recalled Port Moresby when MH yelled at me and even when the person who first gave you an opportunity, they are the one that created / gave the hell of a time (without them knowing it) and is the one that also disappointed you the most. While having my McD-Happy-Meal, I told myself, I will overcome this and give a period of 3months.
After lunch, SH apologized with the attendance of RF in the room. Silence from RF but for myself, it was simply courtesy and SH being 59years old this year with greying hair more than my own Dad, he probably need that extra 'respect' after 2 broken-marriages. How sincere is his apology, I couldn't care less but I will not want him to regret what he said to me.
